Sometimes life just flows. Sometimes it doesn’t. That’s the journey isn’t it? You hear an inspiring song which touches you in a place that just busts open your inner spaces. making you feel deeper. You see something breathtaking. You see the smiling face of a loved one. Those moments are heart opening , fully embodied life experiences. Moments in time. How do we get that more often? Do what feels good. Do what fills you up. Do what makes you take that breath of fresh air metaphorically and sit inside yourself so you can look out at the world from that vantage point. This is different for each of us and will change and evolve over time.
I can almost guarantee that it includes one if not all of these 5 little gems to carry with you in your pocket. This isn’t earth shattering new information. Yet I know that we all sometimes have to hear things several times for it to sink in. So this might just be a loving nudge or reminder to make more time for the important things that fill you up, make you sparkle, and bring you back home
5 Little Gems
1: Being your own Best Friend: How great does this sound? Damn good let me tell you. It’s a drug, that connection to self, that inner love. YOU on your own side, a loving companion with you every step, every breath, every feeling, every experience.
Being your own BFF is a relationship like any other in the sense that it has to be cultivated. Why? Because we have learned all sorts of crazy things like to conditionally love ourselves ( example: do “good” things and love yourself, and do “undesirable” things and punish yourself), to self judge, to self hate. How great can our moment to moment experience be when we are berating ourselves? How much energy are we using doing that? YOU are with YOU all the time. Being on your own side is like a driving unified force. It is a practice and it is so worth it.
The Practical: Notice how you talk to yourself on a regular basis. Do you say things like: “Ugh I can’t believe I did that, I’m such an idiot!” With awareness we can change things we want to change. So in that moment we can then do something about it. First, does it feel good to call yourself that? Second, how would you rather speak to yourself?
Visualize an amazing person who loves you unconditionally. Who understands deeply your beliefs, your past and present as well as your desires for the future. Who knows your “insecurities” and your gifts. Who holds your hand through it all. Who gives you the hug you need and who sits with you in the “fire” and shame when things happen that you wish you could change.That is you as your own best friend. You know how much energy you gain by being on your own side and not constantly being against yourself? A whole lot. I know from experience. I catch myself with self talk but I am light years away from my relationship with myself that was mean, perfectionistic and sucky.
2: Nature: Yes how often do we forget, or get so “near sideded” to the fact that we are planted on top of this immense organic object that basically sustains and supports us? We get isolated in our homes with doors closed especially in the colder months. Nature is innately grounding. We are meant to walk barefoot on the earth regularly. When it is colder, we can do the best we can to get nature in. To me, it doesn’t matter the weather, I feel an overall sense of peace and calm in nature.
The Practical: There are infinite ways to get your nature in, and I am sure you are already doing some like taking walks in the warmer months and doing outdoor activities. There are also smaller ways to soak in nature in a couple minutes in colder months or busy times.
Take a 30 second pause as you walk from your front door to your car. Take a breath and look at the trees, the sky or some wild life. Feel it in your body. If you aren’t even leaving the house, you can open the door for a minute to get some fresh air.
3: Move: Our bodies like motion. We don’t do well being in one position for a long time. We get stiff and stuck. Movement is so important for our well being. I treat all different people. Some are able to physically do many things and are very active and others are very limited physically at least for the time being. That is why there isn’t one thing that works for everyone but there IS a way for everyone to get movement into their lives.
The Practical: Movement of course can be an exercise class, yoga, joining the gym or taking a walk among others. It also can be very organic like throwing on music and dancing freely at home. It can be cleaning your home. I don’t know about you, but I work up a sweat cleaning! It can be walking up and down a flight of steps a few extra times in a day. If you are stuck in a bed or chair, it can be moving the parts of your body gently that don’t hurt as much, or taking a deep breath if that is all you can do. Deep breathing stretches you from the inside and uses several muscles when you inhale!
4: Deep Breathe/Mental Pauses: Our breath unifies our whole experience. We take it for granted, but deep breathing is so innate to relax and center ourselves in our body and quiet our mind. We take deep breaths all the time for these reasons but might not notice. We need mental breaks too. If we have a constant reel of worry and fear going on in our minds, our moment to moment experience can suck. Our thoughts naturally speed up and slow down during the day, but many times if we don’t consciously practice slowing them down, they could feel out of control.
The Practical: A few minutes of simple deep breathing seated or lying down can be a transformative practice if you allow it. Please check out my video on diaphragmatic breathing if you want a walk through. Most people think they are deep breathing, but aren’t relaxing their abdomen as much as needed to get a full breath.
With deep breathing we can practice the feeling and thought of letting go of what we are thinking of. Your concerns will be there when you want to return to them, but a mental rest actually helps you see things with greater clarity. It’s worth it. It’s something that can’t be forced, but is more of a surrendering to what you are doing presently which is breathing and feeling.
5:Fun or Creative Activity: Recharge your being with fun and creativity. The more you practice fun and creativity, the easier it is to slip into that zone. That place where life flows and the feeling of time shifts.
The Practical: Make a little time for any creative projects or activities that you usually put on the back burner. Place it on your to do list or schedule it in. Whatever you normally do for the “necessary” things. Also you can infuse fun into daily activities like cooking, driving etc. Ask yourself, “How can I have more fun doing this?” Then see what pops into your mind!
Think outside your box. Sprinkle these 5 little gems throughout your week and month and notice if it changes your overall state of being. Do what resonates with you, that’s all that matters.
I am sending you lots of love.